Words to live by

I always look forward to conference weekend. I love the spirit that comes with sitting at the feet of our prophet and apostles feasting on their words. I usually go away from conference feeling empowered, like I want to do better. This weekend, though has been hard. I have been dealing with a lot of angry and discouraging feelings this last couple of weeks and as I sat and listened to the first session, I found myself getting angrier and more discouraged. During the story of Corrie Ten Boom and the lesson on forgiveness, my heart cried, "but I don't want to forgive!" I lost my temper with my children even as Sister Beck talked about personal revelation and how mothers who lose their tempers with their children are not as close the spirit as they should be. As one brother talked about finding hope, I felt hopeless, wondering if there really is hope in the future. The second session I tried to go into it with a better heart. I loved the talks on keeping our families safe. I remember how excited I was to hear about the new temple that will be built just down the street from us. I also remember very well thinking that Satan is going to do everything in his power to keep us from entering that temple, that he was going to do everything to destroy what the temple stands for, our families. I have seen him at work on my own family and know that there is so much more we need to do to fortify our home to keep us safe from the fiery darts that are trying to tear us apart. And then there was Elder Holland. Elder Holland knows how to deliver. His talk left me reeling. I love his bluntness.
I know that what was spoken today was inspired. I believe it all to be true. I have never doubted their words. It was all stuff I needed to hear. And while my heart may not have been quite in the right place, I really am grateful for conference and for the things that I have learned today. I have some serious praying to do. I realize my need for the Savior is as real as ever. Sometimes it's hard letting Him in. It's hard letting Him be the One in charge. It's hard letting Him take the reigns and do the spring cleaning that needs so badly to be done. Why do I feel so weak? I have a long way to go. I cannot do it without my Savior.
I am grateful for this Easter season - for what it stands for. I am grateful for a Savior who gives us life. He is aware of our pain and suffering. I am so grateful that I can turn to Him to find peace.