You know those really loud obnoxious, confidant knocks on your door? At first you're kinda like, hey someone loves me and has come to see me, and then immediately you're thinking wait a minute, that sounds awfully suspicious. Oh, too late. The kids have already opened the door.
Gotta love em', those Kirby guys. They don't know how to take no for an answer, do they???
Hey Kirby guy, I know we just passed up the deal of a lifetime, but that doesn't mean you can just walk out and leave the all that dirt we just vacuumed up and all those nasty filters laying all over my front room and kitchen! And before you leave, Kirby guy, I'd just like to say thanks so much for showing me just how much dirt there really is in my house. Now every time I use my worthless, broken piece of #!$@ vacuum and my no good shampooer, I'm going to wish I had bought a Kirby. Every time I sweep and mop my kitchen floor I'll be thinking of that slick Kirby machine with all of it's cool gadgets, wishing I had bought one. Every time I lay there in my bed thinking of the dust mites that are defacating in my nose, I'm going to think I shoulda bought a Kirby. Um, yeah! Really, thanks again. Sure appreciate ya. But hey, at least my front room and hallway carpet is clean with a six month scotch guard, not to mention my love seat, my kitchen floor, and the mattress I bought on KSL the other day (that I will be throwing away now, thank you) are nice and clean. So, I guess I got something out of it and ol' kirby guy isn't going to win his contest after all, dang it! That's what you get for not being very considerate of the fact that my kids are starving because it's way past dinner time getting near bedtime. Buh-bye now. And don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
I was thinking next time I think I'll use some missionary tactics. "Sure you can come in and clean my carpets. Do you believe in God? You bet ya I'd use that if I had it. Do you believe in life after death? What do I do when something's broken? Throw it way of course. What do you do when you're broken? Would I like to buy a Kirby vacuum? I sure would. How about you come to church with us on Sunday, and then we'll think about buying your $2500 vacuum/shampooer/leaf blower/broom/mop." We'll see if they to stay for three hours then.
5 now let's hear it from you:
Ah, the Kirby fellas. You learned the hard way. Have the Advantage Cleaner people stopped by yet? Not as aggressive as the Kirby guys but you'll still wonder where the three hours went-- even if you don't let them in!
You're too nice. I don't even let them in. I open the door, say no and then close the door.
I learned the hard way too. We couldn't pass up the deal. How could we when he was sooo nice to the "darling little ones" and then when we decided the next day that we really didn't want it and called him back, the "darling little ones" were heartbroken when they realized he was really a monster. He was so mean to them as he was packing up the vacuum and accusing us of making him lose his contest. NEVER again have I or will I let one in my home again.
Haha!! Your absolutely hillarious!! Way to tell them! I sure do need to visit with ya! Miss ya!
I say go for the baptism in exchange for the sale. The worth of souls is far greater than that of a vacuum cleaner. :)
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